Webinar: When Everything Feels Urgent

In this opening session of the Leading in Turbulent Times series, Alison Cebulla of Tend Collective explores how the current age of polycrisis — marked by political instability, economic anxiety, and social upheaval — is compounding workplace stress and fueling urgency culture. She walks participants through the brain science of stress, explaining how chronic urgency triggers the amygdala, narrows thinking, erodes collaboration, and ultimately undermines the quality of work and mission. Drawing on Dan Siegel's hand model of the brain, Brené Brown's Rumble framework, and the Nagoski sisters' stress cycle research, Alison offers seven practical tools for interrupting urgency culture — including naming and framing, building psychological safety, closing stress loops, protecting deep work time, and creating clear workflows and decision-making structures. The session centers people who work in human services and mission-driven organizations, holding space for the particular weight of doing care work in a time when the systems and populations they serve are under threat.

Recorded with live attendees on April 1, 2026.

Transcript:

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, awesome. Thanks, everyone. So, my name's Allison Cebula, and many of you may know me from Paces Connection. I worked there for many years, and and then many of us who were at Paces Connection found Attend Collective two years ago to take trauma-informed principles and move them into the workplace.

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Alison Cebulla: We noticed that,

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Alison Cebulla: family and child-serving organizations and other, companies that serve people were implementing trauma-informed practices to the people they serve, but maybe not always to the employees. So, and you can share in the chat if that sounds familiar to you at all. So, that's where we started TEND Collective, and so

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Alison Cebulla: we have been doing consulting work with nonprofits and government agencies and schools and nursing programs to help people feel more psychologically safe at work using trauma-informed care principles. So thanks for being here.

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Alison Cebulla: So… This one is on when everything feels urgent.

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Alison Cebulla: Stress, urgency, culture, and burnout.

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Alison Cebulla: So, let's go ahead and check in in the chat, what is one thing…

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Alison Cebulla: From the world or from work, that feels urgently stressful right now.

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Alison Cebulla: You can go ahead and put this in the chat.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, protecting vulnerable populations that you work with, absolutely, I'm really holding space for that. And I have been thinking, Tracy, so much about how expensive life has become in the United States, so, really breaks my heart, yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: Family struggling with fears, absolutely. Yeah, inflation, wars, community divisions, yep. Yeah. All of those are definitely also on my heart. Yeah, thanks, Kelsey, thanks, Debra.

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Alison Cebulla: And, would love to hear from…

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Alison Cebulla: anyone else who has one, so please, please go ahead and put that in the chat.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, for me, urgently stressful,

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Alison Cebulla: I would say, as someone for me who works in, who has been working in protecting children and child health, for most of my career, that the Epstein files have been…

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Alison Cebulla: pretty shocking, and feeling… feeling urgent. I don't know how many of you are also feeling that.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, devastating, yeah, that's a good word, yep. Yeah, devastating. I think I went into a deep spiral for, like, 2 weeks where I couldn't do anything.

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Alison Cebulla: So…

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, if my team is a mess, we cannot serve our students. I have been hearing that from so many teachers I know. Yeah, it's a rabbit hole trauma. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, one of the main reasons I wanted to have this, right now is just to hold space for all of this, and… and help make this a safe space. So, I hope that you can come away from this knowing that you're absolutely not alone.

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Alison Cebulla: So many of us are feeling this way right now, and it's a lot.

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Alison Cebulla: It's a lot. So, thank you all so much for sharing what feels urgent right now, and, that's why you're on your day off.

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Alison Cebulla: Oh my gosh. Okay, I'm hoping, hoping that you get some good things out of this, Heather. Please go ahead and share, you know, your… we can see your name, but maybe your location and… and your work… your place of work in the chat.

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Alison Cebulla: So… 10 Collective is based in Boston, and I'm here representing 10 Collective today, Consultancy in Psychological Safety.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, awesome.

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Alison Cebulla: So, they welcome Tracy from Maryland. Is that a… is that a school?

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Alison Cebulla: Welcome to everyone who's new, we're just introducing ourselves in the chat.

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Alison Cebulla: So, just share, kind of… Where you're joining from.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, awesome. So, welcome, Kelsey from Washington. Human Services, great.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, Victim Advocate, San Bernardino, California. Thank you so much, Wendy. Thanks for all the work. You guys are doing awesome work.

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Alison Cebulla: Awesome, Tracy, thank you. Okay, New York, Crime Victims Assistance Center.

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Alison Cebulla: Thank you so much, Haley, for your service. Deborah in Washington, okay, great, head start, yeah, so needed. Jeanette Peters in Maryland.

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Alison Cebulla: Great. Okay, Chicago, Northern Michigan, wow. Welcome, Kim and Sarah.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay. Dropout prevention and Recovery School, oh my gosh, thank you, Heather.

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Alison Cebulla: Well, I, really hope that you all feel like you're in great company here today. And again, if you want to turn your, camera on, you're welcome. I, I know that that,

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Alison Cebulla: maybe you feel like it's nice to take a break sometimes, but if you just want to turn it on and wave and say hi, you can do that too. But you're in great company because we're in a whole room here of people doing awesome service in our collective communities, and it's really inspiring to see all the work that you're doing.

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Alison Cebulla: So, welcome, welcome, Victoria from Virginia, Victim Services. Awesome.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay.

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Alison Cebulla: So, today I'm going to cover, kind of, the urgent stress that we're all feeling, workplace stress, urgency in the brain, and solutions and tools. And the thing is that many of you are trauma-informed care experts and psychological safety experts.

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Alison Cebulla: That's why you're here, that's why you're interested in this, so please feel free to chime in in the chat. I'm gonna have lots of prompts to, you know, add to the discussion, and, you know, many of you are experts, but maybe it's just nice to check in and get reminded of what the issues and what the tools are.

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Alison Cebulla: So,

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, my name's Allison Sebula, and I have an MPH from Boston University, and I did my bachelor's degree at Berkeley, and I've spent my career in nonprofit management, education, environmental protection, and human rights.

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Alison Cebulla: And from 2019 to 2022, I was a community facilitator and the host and producer of the Better Normal series.

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Alison Cebulla: maybe hand up if any of you, attended that, at Paces Connection. And then I worked as the Associate Director of Curriculum and Training at the Center for Child Wellbeing and Trauma at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. So, I founded TEND Collective along with 3 other colleagues, and we are all folks who work together at Paces Connection or at the Center for Child Wellbeing.

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Alison Cebulla: And we just, again, we noticed that for employees who serve children and families, that we all were not always getting the same trauma-informed care within our workplaces, and we saw a real need. So we launched this TEND Collective two years ago, and have been serving

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Alison Cebulla: Nonprofits and government agencies, and we love this work.

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Alison Cebulla: So here are some of our, our co-founders.

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Alison Cebulla: Bree, Marianne, Danielle, and you can check out our team page on our website to get the full background scope for all of us and the expertise that we are bringing.

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Alison Cebulla: And there's, videos by all of us in our YouTube channel as well. Thanks so much, Heather. We completely understand what it's like out there, and it's… it is rough.

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Alison Cebulla: So, we are a consultancy, and so we can help teams with low morale, high urgency, if you have low psychological safety, high burnout, we can help. What we usually do is we come in and we do an assessment first, and then we put together a package that can include training, coaching. We actually help organizations put together actual structure and norms and agreements

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Alison Cebulla: We do training on people skills, we do one-on-one coaching for management issues and conflict resolution. We do collaboration sessions among people who are having conflicts working together, so we do all of that. You can send me an email if you want more information, and after this session, I'll be sending everyone a form you can fill out if you're curious about working with us.

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Alison Cebulla: We, it's pretty affordable, and… and yeah, we would love to… to talk to you about what that could look like.

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Alison Cebulla: So, we're going to start with, you know, what the environment is that we're all living in that's making this all feel especially chaotic, right? Serving… serving children and families and people in need is already very stressful, but right now, we're kind of over the limit, and I just really want to hold space for that for all of you, and help you feel less alone today.

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Alison Cebulla: There was an article that came out that used the word polycrisis, so that's the word I was… I'm using here.

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Alison Cebulla: And so this is the article in The Guardian, that came out in January, and the author said, we are living in a time of polycrisis, and if you feel trapped, you are not alone.

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Alison Cebulla: And so this is a little excerpt from the piece, but she just says people are feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated and bombarded with bad news each day, and there's economic and political instability.

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Alison Cebulla: Many of you mentioned in the chat the rising cost of living, job insecurity, right? Then there's the climate crisis.

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Alison Cebulla: And what she's saying in her piece is, like, it's not just anxiety, but when we have this sense of chronic stress and chronic doom.

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Alison Cebulla: We actually lose our ability to make meaning and feel motivated to keep going every day. So, you know, if you've been feeling like this, kind of paralyzed, foggy, not able to plan for the future, I just want you to know that that's totally normal, and we're all…

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Alison Cebulla: Trying to get through this. It's a lot right now.

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Alison Cebulla: If you have anything to add, please feel free to do so in the chat.

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Alison Cebulla: So,

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Alison Cebulla: probably many of you love Gabrmate as much as I do, and I was really lucky to get to meet him through my work at Paces Connection back in 2020, when he spoke at an event that I produced.

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Alison Cebulla: And, he actually caused me a little bit of stress, because he, arrived right at the time that we were going live, instead of 10 minutes before, which is what I needed so that I could check his sound and lighting. So even though someone who knows so much about stress can still, can still cause a little bit of stress.

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Alison Cebulla: So, that was my experience meeting, Dr. Gabrumate. Yeah, thanks, Tracy. It was really stressful, because I was producing the event.

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Alison Cebulla: So, one quote that I come back to again and again is that, the research literature has identified three factors that universally lead to stress. Uncertainty, the lack of information, and the loss of control.

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Alison Cebulla: Now, I think that's pretty easy for us to identify that that is happening on such a large scale right now for so many of us. We don't know what's going to happen on any given day, we can't really trust the media anymore, which feels, really stressful, and many of us are feeling like there is nothing that we can do, or our vote doesn't seem to count.

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Alison Cebulla: or, you know, we're showing up at the protest, but nothing is changing. So, these are very stressful conditions that the scientific literature has showed. This is what creates stress.

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Alison Cebulla: So, given that that's kind of the water we're swimming in already, then we get to work, and now, all of a sudden, we have a lot of factors at work that are also not helping and creating this kind of urgency… urgency culture.

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Alison Cebulla: So…

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Alison Cebulla: Urgency culture is an organizational norm that treats everything as equally critical and time-sensitive. And so, I'm curious what your ideas are in terms of what behaviors at work come with urgency culture, and

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Alison Cebulla: I'll start by sharing that I…

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Alison Cebulla: had a deeply, profoundly negative experience, when I worked at the University of Massachusetts with,

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Alison Cebulla: a boss who did not have great personal regulation skills, possibly had some dark tetrad traits, and there was this constant sense of, like, running around like we were chickens with their heads cut off, and we were really missing a lot of structure. So the behaviors that came with that were, like, constant Teams calls that were random. Like, anytime she had an idea in her head, she would just want one of us to pop on a call.

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Alison Cebulla: Even though it didn't flow with maybe some other projects that we were working on, there were no standard operating procedures.

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Alison Cebulla: There was… there were a lot of… there was a lot of anger, actually, in meetings,

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Alison Cebulla: There was not a lot of room for us to push back and challenge her. What else am I missing? Does anyone else have any behaviors that come with urgency culture that you want to drop in the chat?

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Alison Cebulla: Maybe, not enough vacation time, extreme anxiety, feelings of everything feeling unfair, and yeah, absolutely.

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Alison Cebulla: Their issue is the only primary issue. Absolutely. Absolutely, yeah. Too few people doing too many jobs, yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: Yep. And then another one I just remembered from us, that I heard from a social worker that I met with, and he was saying, we're just not sure that the work we're doing is even making an impact anymore. It feels, like, really disconnected. Like, we're doing work, but is anyone evaluating whether it's working?

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Alison Cebulla: So, when you have urgency culture, sometimes the evaluation step gets missed, and it feels like you're doing work that's not meaningful anymore.

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Alison Cebulla: So some… some of the behaviors that we've already mentioned, but here's just kind of a list of some more. Rewarding busyness over effectiveness, last-minute requests that are somehow treated as normal.

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Alison Cebulla: Poor planning, but blaming others. A lack of clear priorities, oh, needing to always be on. So, one thing,

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Alison Cebulla: that my toxic boss used to do was she used to call me randomly on Teams just to make sure I was sitting at my desk.

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Alison Cebulla: It was wildly stressful.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, thank you, Tracy. Yeah, it was insane.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, overwhelming standards. Thanks, Debra. Unrealistic expectations, absolutely. Back-to-back meetings, no processing time, no, spaciousness for processing, feeling chronically under-resourced.

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Alison Cebulla: Or even, like, not understanding that certain things take more emotional labor than others, such as, things like events. And a lot of times people really need time after an event ends to process and decompress.

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Alison Cebulla: This is gonna… yeah. Within Teams, there can be this thing, like, whoever talks the most gets the most attention, or is listened to the most. That's something that teams really have to watch out for.

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Alison Cebulla: yeah, the pressure to match other people's urgency, that is such a big one. No ability for… to say, like, hey, can we stop and take a timeout and evaluate this?

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Alison Cebulla: So, unclear decision making… Not sure who has the authority to make which decisions.

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Alison Cebulla: Maybe unrealistic expectations from donors or funders, or, like, rigid grant requirements that are not possible. I've seen that in a lot of folks that we consult.

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Alison Cebulla: Or really unclear, or, stakeholders that are fighting amongst each other.

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Alison Cebulla: Any other ones?

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Alison Cebulla: team staying in freeze mode, I've seen that so much. Or, like, I've seen, supervisors get into freeze mode, and then employees are kind of like, where's my supervisor? I sent them a message yesterday, or this morning, and I haven't heard back. And we need to move forward on this decision. Yeah, it's a big one.

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Alison Cebulla: Controlling behavior of funders, yep, yep, yep.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: And so, burnout happens, and again, you know, keep…

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Alison Cebulla: Oh no, I literally have nightmares that my former principal comes back.

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Alison Cebulla: I am… I'm really holding space, Heather. Yeah, once we get away from a toxic person, the PTSD can follow us for years. You know, I left this place of employment two and a half years ago, and it really took about two years to finally feel like my nervous system could calm down with work-related things. It took a long time, yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: So, when there's no reprieve for these things, when there's moral injury, meaning that you don't feel like your organization has integrity, but you still have to show up because you still have bills to pay.

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Alison Cebulla: There's, like, a lack of attunement, so no one seems to be noticing how you're doing, or caring how you're doing.

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Alison Cebulla: It could be that you're in the wrong role for your particular strengths.

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Alison Cebulla: You're never feeling caught up. The upper management seems to want to exploit people.

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Alison Cebulla: The… your pay is not covering your expenses. You may have emotional fatigue from having to offer so much care.

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Alison Cebulla: Just way too much emotional labor or mental load, unsupportive team.

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Alison Cebulla: Let me know what I'm missing.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, so… We're gonna talk about the brain science of urgency and stress.

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Alison Cebulla: So,

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Alison Cebulla: again, many of you are experts in this, but this is something where I like to use the… the hand model of the brain, which is always just such a good reminder that, this is from Dan Siegel at UCLA, and, he calls it flipping your lid. So, the lid being the prefrontal cortex here, this part of the brain, that's in charge of executive functioning, meaning can you

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Alison Cebulla: do the things that you say you're gonna do and that you want to do.

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Alison Cebulla: And can you problem solve? And can you,

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Alison Cebulla: think critically. And when we're in a constant state of urgency, or when something urgent comes up, we may flip our lid, meaning that our amygdala is now

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Alison Cebulla: taking over the show. And so we switch into fight or flight. And, we are just wired that every time we perceive a threat, that we are going to spring into action to keep ourselves alive, even though I'm sure you guys have seen the memes about, you know, why can't my brain understand it's just an email, it's not a tiger in the jungle. But this is how we're wired, and if we constantly don't feel safe at work.

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Alison Cebulla: Then, yeah, that email is gonna make us flip our lid.

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Alison Cebulla: I feel like I live in fight or flight consistently, really holding space for that. Yeah…

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah. Thank you all for your comments. Yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: And so, the thing is, is that when we flip our lid, and now we're in the amygdala zone here, we are not doing our best work. So it's really counterproductive for the mission of the organization to put people in a state of urgency, because now, our ability to remember things is lower, our emotional response is higher.

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Alison Cebulla: We get tunnel vision and narrowed attention. We lose our ability to integrate multiple pieces of information. There's a scarcity mindset, so we may forget. We have more resources, we could call so-and-so to help. We… all of that,

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Alison Cebulla: narrows into just tunnel vision thinking. So, threat generalization means that we feel threatened about one thing, but now we're generalizing that so that we feel threat about everything.

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Alison Cebulla: And, time horizon collapse, so again, we may forget that we have some spaciousness, or we may lose our ability to plan for the future. And again, right, we're kind of noticing that some of these are happening just with world events in general, right? And then, let alone what's happening in the workplace.

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Alison Cebulla: So, in the article that I linked to, she was saying, like, people are having trouble visualizing and being excited about their future. So that's some time horizon collapse when we experience urgency.

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Alison Cebulla: And then there's a social and relational narrowing, so we will actually trust people less, and our ability to communicate and collaborate with others will go down.

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Alison Cebulla: So, yeah, thanks, Tracy. Yeah, so please note that ADHD and other neurodivergent brains often prefer, or states of urgency, and this often will be what helps,

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Alison Cebulla: those with these types of brains reach a flow state. So, but there, you know, there are helpful tools out there for those with neurodivergent brains to, make sure that you're creating, and I'll talk about completing stress cycles.

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Alison Cebulla: So, if you are someone who prefers to, create systems of urgency, it's just really important to close the loop, and I'll talk about that at,

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Alison Cebulla: In a later slide, what that means.

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Alison Cebulla: And so, we are probably all… we have a whole group of experts here today. We're… we're… we know what happens over time, right? Weakened immune function, increased inflammation, higher risk of chronic illness, depression, burnout.

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Alison Cebulla: decreased focus, cognitive decline. But in the workplace, the way that I see this really playing out is that the urgency increases, and they're saying, here's this task, you have to do it right now.

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Alison Cebulla: And because we get that tunnel vision, now all of a sudden we're not asking critical questions. We're not problem solving. We're not collaborating and bringing the right person in to solve the issue. We're not, working for maximum efficiency. We're just trying to get the urgent thing done instead of going, wait, wait, wait, stop. Is this the right task right now? Is this the right way to do this project? Couldn't we do it better? Couldn't we do it more efficiently? Couldn't we ask for help?

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Alison Cebulla: So, when we have chronic urgency, we're really losing that ability to do good work, high-quality work.

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Alison Cebulla: So let me know if you have noticed that at all in your workplace.

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Alison Cebulla: And then, you know, losing touch with what matters is such a big one. And I want to note that,

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Alison Cebulla: you know, the adverse childhood experiences study showed that chronic and complex stress from childhood was related to every health outcome that we can think of. And so that, if we're bringing in a lot of ACEs, it's going to compound the chronic urgency at work.

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Alison Cebulla: But also, chronic and complex stress from work over years and years and years is going to have a lot of the same impact as some of this chronic stress from childhood.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, compassion fatigue, yeah, absolutely.

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Alison Cebulla: Thank you for the comments, yeah. Yep, when we're in an urgency culture, the creative and efficient problem solving is… it just goes away. Yep, yep.

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Alison Cebulla: And so, when we have this kind of spaciousness at work, then we're able to collaborate our executive functioning, meaning, like, if I say, like, I'll get that to you tomorrow, we can actually do it, that increases.

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Alison Cebulla: Our creative problem solving increases. Less sick days, better memory, better critical thinking. We're happier, we're collaborating more, we're staying in our roles longer.

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Alison Cebulla: We're hiring better people, we're tackling bigger and more interesting challenges. And also, one of my favorite impacts is that employees who have a great workplace

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Alison Cebulla: take that happiness with them and that satisfaction home. And so, there's such a huge link that I don't think is talked about enough between stressed-out employees and stressed-out… being stressed out at home, or being stressed-out parents. And so when we look at how to prevent adverse childhood experiences.

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Alison Cebulla: Improving morale, at work is such an important way to improve positive childhood experiences at home.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, so let's talk about some solutions and tools.

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Alison Cebulla: So, I think I have 6…

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Alison Cebulla: six practices or tools today to share with you. And so, the first one is just naming and framing. And that's what we're doing here today, and I really hope that you walk away from this session with this feeling that,

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Alison Cebulla: we are naming and framing this so that you feel a little bit lighter as you go into your… the rest of your workday. So,

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Alison Cebulla: Yes, this… this news is overwhelming. Yes, we are short-staffed. Yes, we are worried about our funding.

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Alison Cebulla: Yes, ICE raids are impacting the people we serve, and we are feeling scared and upset. Yes, we are worried about saving for retirement. Yes, we all need more paid vacation and rest to do our best work. And yes, we are worried about

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Alison Cebulla: the future of our community, and our community members, and our country. So…

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Alison Cebulla: What else could we be acknowledging right now, either at work or in the world, that would feel really good if that was acknowledged? Go ahead and share in the chat.

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Alison Cebulla: And so when we teach trainings on, attuned management.

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Alison Cebulla: This is a huge part of it, is just helping people feel seen and heard at work, and it actually reduces stress quite a bit.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, so… taking on a lot of secondhand trauma, absolutely, that's huge. A generation coming to the workforce with different work ethics, okay, yeah?

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, ice being a big stressor, and affecting the populations you serve, and maybe some colleagues.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah. Yep, I'm holding space for that, Debra.

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Alison Cebulla: Standard processes are feeling upside down. Okay, yep. Thanks, everyone, for sharing.

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Alison Cebulla: And, you know, just allow yourself to receive the fact that the folks here with you today are holding space for how stressful this all feels.

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Alison Cebulla: So, psychological safety is this idea that you could bring something up at work without fear of retribution.

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Alison Cebulla: And I have found that this can often be quite rare at work, unfortunately, and especially for those of us who have worked in human services.

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Alison Cebulla: When there's this constant sense of urgency to help the most vulnerable people, sometimes,

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Alison Cebulla: We're not in the mine… Set.

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Alison Cebulla: as I shared, you know, what happens when we get into chronic urgency is that we're not in the mindset for psychological safety. We're already feeling like we're in fight or flight, and then someone says, hey, actually, can I challenge you on this? Hey, actually, this is not working for me. And what happens? You're already in fight or flight, now you're attacking instead of receiving and listening. So, you know, this is something that is critical, but it's often not standard.

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Alison Cebulla: at places of work. So,

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Alison Cebulla: In fact, maybe what we can do is each of us can

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Alison Cebulla: think about how much, like, how much can I bring up issues at work right now without fear of retribution on a scale from 1 to 5? So 5 is the best, 1 is the least, and share about how psychologically safe is your workplace on a scale from 1 to 5.

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Alison Cebulla: For me, it's a 5, because it's mostly just me doing consulting work, so I'm pretty psychologically safe with myself.

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Alison Cebulla: But on a scale from 1 to 5, how is it for you right now, where you are?

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, 4…

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Alison Cebulla: 2, okay, that's tough, yeah. 4, 5 with your team, and 4 with high… wow, that… I… that is lucky, that's great. A 3, okay. 4 to 5. Okay, that's great to hear. So, some of you have places where you can bring

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Alison Cebulla: bring some stuff up. Okay, everyone's so stressed, so it's a 3. Okay, so I can see that we're already connecting, kind of, like, when it's… there's chronic urgency, it's less psychologically safe to bring up challenges, so that's a real thing that happens for… okay, I'm really,

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Alison Cebulla: Glad that so many of you have safe environments, and then for those of you who are leaning more towards the 2 side of things, we didn't get any 1s, but for those of you who are more at a 2,

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Alison Cebulla: You know, if you don't think that that can improve over time, it may be something where you want to think about how sustainable it is for you to stay on that team for your mental health.

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Alison Cebulla: You know, if you're not able to say, hey, can we bring in… like, could we bring Intent Collective to help increase our psychological safety? If that's not an option, you know, then over time it could get really stressful, and I'm just holding space for that right now.

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Alison Cebulla: trying to be the safe space, Heather, that's awesome, I love that. I'm sure your team is really appreciative.

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Alison Cebulla: And so these are a couple frameworks that we teach,

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Alison Cebulla: One is Brene Brown's Rumble framework from, Dare to Lead, so that employees feel that they can halt that forward momentum and speak truth to power and challenge the status quo without the fear of retribution. We use this framework at Paces Connection to just say, hey, I know you have more power than I do, I know you're my boss, or I know you're my manager, but I'm wondering if we could have a little

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Alison Cebulla: crumble on this And,

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Alison Cebulla: And it was a really nice, safe way, because once you entered that space, then there could be no retribution. That space had to be held, and this issue had to be talked through. So, that's a great tool. The other one is the radical candor framework, which is that when you're speaking the truth to someone and you're being honest, that you want to do it with a lot of care about them.

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Alison Cebulla: And that also, what she teaches is that holding back really important and critical feedback is not care. So I really love that one, because it helps us be a little more brave at work, but also think about how our words are impacting others.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, so the third practice is understanding the urgency and stress and the brain. So, hopefully you all will walk away from this talk going, you know, this is actually more important than I realized, or you know what, I had a hunch this was really important, but Allison's talk reinforced that for me, and I'm like, wow, we really need to get the whole team on board.

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Alison Cebulla: So, I invite you to think about, you know, either bringing in TEND Collective to do a training with your whole staff.

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Alison Cebulla: or another trainer, there's such a good network out there of people who do this work, and, you know, I'm even happy to refer you to some of my other consulting colleagues who do great work. But try and bring someone in to train the whole team, and especially your executive team as well, on the brain science of stress. And we love teaching resilience and regulation tools.

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Alison Cebulla: Now, obviously, it's nicer if we can change systems, but sometimes when systems can't change, people just need the tools to how to self-regulate, how to get through the day, and especially, in what I'm reading in the chat, how to practice emotional boundaries, so that we are leaving some of the compassion and worry at work, and we don't take it home with us.

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Alison Cebulla: Which is a really tough thing to do, but we love helping people with these skills.

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Alison Cebulla: Communication and conflict resolution.

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Alison Cebulla: You know, when we're having a conflict with someone at work, it can… that can really increase our sense of urgency and, decrease our feeling of safety. So, we love helping people with conflict resolution skills, and then de-escalation. So, those moments that feel particularly urgent, what do we do?

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, this one I like to include in almost all my presentations because people need to do it more.

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Alison Cebulla: And actually, this is a fun fact about how I got started, how I was inspired to start TEN Collective, was that I worked really hard to report my toxic manager when I worked at the University of Massachusetts.

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Alison Cebulla: For illegal activities, and she was let go. And it was really stressful for me, but it was a great win, given that we were able to report her for her toxic activities. And so someone that I knew reached out to me and said, hey, I heard that you were able to get your toxic

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Alison Cebulla: executive director out. Do you think you could help us with that?

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Alison Cebulla: And so, actually, trying to figure out who it is that's toxic, and it could be your executive director, and figuring that out, and getting them out of the organization can do a lot of good. And so, I try and bring this up. It's a really underrated one, but when you have a toxic employer, a toxic manager, a toxic director, they are going to do a lot of harm.

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Alison Cebulla: They're going to make people feel not seen and heard, they're going to increase that urgency culture, they're going to increase the chaos, they're going to decrease the ability to bring up problems and challenges as they arise, and people are going to be feeling scrambled.

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Alison Cebulla: directionless, and not supported in a time when we need support more than ever. So, this is absolutely something that we can help with. We… we would love to help.

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Alison Cebulla: And so, the dark tetrad traits are narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism. So…

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Alison Cebulla: You know, people who are not able to really actually care about others, not able to feel that empathy, people who manipulate, people who want power,

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Alison Cebulla: people who are highly impulsive, and then there are people who take pleasure in inflicting pain. An example of this… this toxic boss, she actually had a sister-in-law of hers who was working in a…

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Alison Cebulla: like, a police task force out in another state come speak to our team. And while this… while she was introducing her sister-in-law and,

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Alison Cebulla: For her sister-in-law to present to us, she, said something really mean to her family member in front of our whole team, humiliating her.

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Alison Cebulla: And it was, so out of line, and so shocking and surprising, and it was interesting because her sister-in-law, like, rolled her eyes, and I was like, oh, she is really used to this from this person, because she's related to her. And… but that was, an instance of sadism. And I'm curious…

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Alison Cebulla: How many of you, and you can share in the chat, have worked with a dark tetrad personality before?

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Alison Cebulla: This was really my first experience with someone that was really… that I would say had… had a dark tetrad personality, so really shocking.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, so, okay, so the principal that you worked with, okay.

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Alison Cebulla: In your old job. Okay, yup.

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Alison Cebulla: Good, I'm glad that you're not in that one anymore. A lot in the healthcare field, yeah. A lot of big egos.

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Alison Cebulla: Oh, yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: university settings, yeah, anytime that there's a, something where there's, like, a lot of power, or prestige involved, then you'll see more of this.

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Alison Cebulla: And actually, to be honest, I have seen a lot of it in the trauma-informed care space, because people with a lot of trauma, could be more likely to have some of these traits if they haven't been able… if the trauma was really bad and they haven't been able to work on it. And then they tend to be attracted

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Alison Cebulla: You know, kind of like they say, like, traumatized people become,

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Alison Cebulla: can become therapists, because we want to figure ourselves out, you know? And so,

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Alison Cebulla: in the trauma-informed care space, sometimes people who have a lot of trauma that's very unconscious, like, really buried, will gravitate towards these types of roles because the unconscious and our wounds always want to be seen and known, even if we don't… even if we're not aware of it. So that can tend to happen, I've seen that a lot.

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, so this one I referred to early, closing stress loops, let me know in the chat if you've heard of this one before, if this is new to you. But,

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Alison Cebulla: I… I like to think of the work of Peter Levine, and he wrote really great books. Yeah, new to you, okay.

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Alison Cebulla: about releasing stress in the body. And my favorite way to close a stress loop is… and Peter Levine talks about this, and his books, he has a great book called,

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Alison Cebulla: wait, something with Tiger… Chasing the tiger? And I recommend his books, they're so healing.

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Alison Cebulla: But he talks about, you know, just shaking… shaking things off. And actually, I read it… I read one of his books many years, like a decade ago, and he said, like, if you fall on the ground suddenly, or you hit your head suddenly, a lot of times we try and get back up and pretend like nothing happened. But instead, what we really need to do, and if… and in fact, if you see someone fall on the ground, instead of racing to pick them back up.

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Alison Cebulla: What we really want to do is gently offer them, like, you know, a little back rub or a little hug, and say, hey, are you okay? And really sit and offer a presents to them. I actually had the opportunity to offer this to someone, and it's really transformational. But for our own selves, let's say that, and this happened to me, I bumped my head really hard. Now, normally, I would have been, like, embarrassed, startled, and just run along with my day, but I remembered this

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Alison Cebulla: This work about closing the loop.

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Alison Cebulla: And so instead, I just sat there, and I offered myself a really comforting touch.

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Alison Cebulla: And I took a few deep breaths until I'd really processed the startle, and let the startle shock move through my body and really feel it. And then in the end, just like a… you see, like, a dog shake off a fight-or-flight response, then I just shook off the response in my body by shaking. You can see me shaking. And…

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Alison Cebulla: You can also shake your hands to let it out. This is the type of work I do with folks one-on-one.

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Alison Cebulla: And then it's out. We've closed the… we've closed the loop, so that we don't just have this, trauma response accumulate, accumulate, accumulate. You're actually just making it a full… a full cycle, releasing it and letting it go. And so that's really including letting ourselves… Peter Levine, yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: Awaking the Tiger, I think, is what it's called. Peter?

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Alison Cebulla: And then his other book, I think it's called Trauma and Memory, I think has some really good practices in there. Highly, highly recommend.

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Alison Cebulla: So,

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Alison Cebulla: In the workplace setting, I do always encourage the folks that I… that I coach to try these personal… these personal loop-closing activities, such as shaking, going for a walk.

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Alison Cebulla: Journaling your feelings, that's also another nice way to close the loop. So there's personal ways, but on a team level.

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Alison Cebulla: Having rituals around closing projects.

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Alison Cebulla: is really important.

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Alison Cebulla: So,

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Alison Cebulla: And this is something that I notice in the nonprofits that I consult, is that a lot of nonprofits forget the evaluation phase because that urgency culture is so strong.

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Alison Cebulla: And… thanks so much, Tracy. Thank you. And, and, Tenny, thank you.

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Alison Cebulla: is that you don't want to forget the celebration phase and the, evaluation phase, because that's actually helping you close your… close the stress loop on your whole project, okay? And so, this was a framework we also used at Paces Connection, where celebrate is, like, a really, really important part of every project. So you want your project, you want your project to have a very clear beginning.

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Alison Cebulla: middle, and end, and at the end, you want to celebrate, you want to evaluate, you want to say, this is what worked, this is what didn't. You want to bring everyone around, you want to say, all these people played a part, and now we're going to celebrate the work that we did, and we're going to learn… we're going to learn from our mistakes, and we're going to adjust and move things forward. And sometimes it feels like we're never closing the loop on anything that we work on, which just increases the stress, increases the stress, increases the stress.

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Alison Cebulla: We need these full… we need these full cycles.

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Alison Cebulla: One personal practice that I've added to my life recently that I learned from someone else

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Alison Cebulla: is to celebrate wins and fails deliberately every single week. So for me, what that looks like is that I have a friend, and every single Saturday, we have it on our calendar, we share in a text or a voice note our fails and our wins for that week. And that actually helps us close the loop on stress that week.

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Alison Cebulla: So, hope you guys give that one a try.

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Alison Cebulla: So, workflows for maximum flow.

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Alison Cebulla: When we're in high-urgency culture, we are forgetting to set up structures and projects.

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Alison Cebulla: And the thing that we see the most that causes the most stress is people not knowing who is in charge of making the decision. And that's when we get, sort of, like, these endless meetings where no decision is being made, or people don't know if they have the authority to make that decision. And so that's the part of the project clarity that can probably help the most.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah, yeah, so I'm seeing some agreement in the chat, absolutely.

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Alison Cebulla: Prioritization frameworks, authority frameworks, really clear agreements, written agreements.

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Alison Cebulla: Knowing who the stakeholders are, knowing the key deadlines and the key dates, having the standard operating procedures written down so that people feel safe and they can reference that, and we know what we're doing. I always say that, you know, you want to set up, you know, if any of you are in management positions, you want to set it up so that employees arrive at their desk in the morning, and they're not feeling stressed about what they need to start on

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Alison Cebulla: first, right? We want people to sit down and be like, here's that thing I do every day, and I'm gonna go ahead and get started, and I'm gonna do it. What's really stressful is, like, I don't know what I'm doing on any given day, and it's always new, and it's always stressful, and it's always urgent, and it's always random, and it's always chaotic. We want to set people up so that we sit down and we go, okay, I'm gonna tackle that thing that I usually do. I'm gonna do that for a couple hours, then I'm gonna do this other thing that I usually

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Alison Cebulla: do for a couple hours. And I know what the work is, and who I'm accountable to, and what decisions I can make, and who I need to ask if I don't know that. And all of these things have to be made explicit.

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Alison Cebulla: And it does seem really intuitive and basic, but a lot of these steps get missed.

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Alison Cebulla: I'm sure a lot of us can relate, yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: Meeting hygiene means, you know, that…

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Alison Cebulla: We don't do agenda-less meetings, and that… and this one, I mean… Thanks, Heather, yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: The last point is that meetings should not be facilitated unless the person knows how to facilitate a meeting. It makes such a difference. You know, oftentimes we just think, like, anyone could lead a meeting without offering any training or feedback, which is really stressful for everyone, including the person that has to facilitate. So, that's also something that we offer. We, you know, we can train leaders on how to facilitate a meeting

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Alison Cebulla: And it's a skill, it's a skill that you can learn in practice, and it does make a big difference.

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Alison Cebulla: Oh, I have seven… I thought I had six practices. We have seven. Protect deep work time. So, understanding urgency in the brain, and then understanding flow in the brain, right? When we decrease urgency, and we increase deep distraction-free work, then we get into this place where we're doing really high-quality work, and we have access to our executive functioning, our prefrontal cortex.

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Alison Cebulla: And we're collaborative, we're creative.

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Alison Cebulla: In the chat, go ahead and share how much deep work time do you tend to get per day? How many hours?

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Alison Cebulla: Okay, Tracy, thanks so much for your kind words. Yeah, I hope you can come to our next one in a couple weeks.

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Alison Cebulla: How many…

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Alison Cebulla: Half an hour? No! No! 2D work, days a week. Okay, nice.

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Alison Cebulla: Not much, okay.

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Alison Cebulla: And you have to schedule it, yeah, it just really can be like that.

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Alison Cebulla: Yeah.

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Alison Cebulla: Awesome. Well, so, that is…

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Alison Cebulla: the end of today's presentation, and the next one in the series is going to be April 16th, so in a couple weeks, and that one's going to be called When Everything Feels Uncertain.

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Alison Cebulla: leading with accountability when the ground is shifting. And so we're going to really focus on how to hold people accountable when we're all feeling so stressed all the time.

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Alison Cebulla: So, you can go ahead and register for that one in the Zoom link that I just put in the chat.

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Alison Cebulla: I… it makes me, really, really happy to know that this was helpful. I really appreciate that. I'll be sending out an email to all of you, with, like, a quick survey for things that you got out of this.

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Alison Cebulla: And then also some additional resources, and then, you know, how you can work with us.

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Alison Cebulla: We love helping orgs with all of these things, so, you know, let me know on that, and I hope to see you…

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Alison Cebulla: In a couple of weeks, just reading some of the comments, supervision makes uninterrupted time difficult. Absolutely, Sarah, I'm really holding space for that.

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Alison Cebulla: Awesome! I'm so glad you're feeling seen and heard. Perfect. That's what I really wanted for all of you.

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Alison Cebulla: Yay, okay, and thanks that it was well regulated, yeah. Trying to walk my talk, so thanks, Debra. Okay, thank you all so much, good luck. Oh, Heather, nice to see your face, okay.

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Alison Cebulla: Oh, thanks. Okay, great to see you, Debra. Yeah, thanks, Kim. Wonderful. And thank you all for the amazing and inspiring work you're doing in the community. It really touches my heart. So, thank you. And,

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Alison Cebulla: Awesome, and we work… we do work with students. Yeah, I've trained up, like, nursing students, we can do social work students as well. We do, you know, just what to do in tough times, in tough situations. We love doing that kind of stuff, so… thanks, Victoria. Okay, everyone, I'll see you in two weeks, hopefully, for the next one, with more tools. Okay, bye-bye.